Misija neįmanoma (beveik) įvykdyta. Gautos atostogos pagrindiniame darbe (visam mėnesiui). Gautos atostogos ir šalutiniam? papildomam darbe (dviem mėnesiams). Bilietai į Londoną nupirkti. Kambarys mėnesiui (beveik) išnomuotas (na, nors yra kažkos pasirinkimas). Kas liko? Nudirbti visus darbus per paskutinę savaitikę, ir susikrovus mantą judėti nežinomybės link. Seniai kur nors toliau bekeliavau (berods pirmam kurse į Paryžių).

Tad griebiam mergaitę už kasų rankų ir lapatailapatai emigruot. Pradinis tikslas - vienas mėnuo. Ir priimtas sprendimas - ką daryti toliau. Šiuo metu mano gyvenime viskas lyg ir klostosi gerai. Darbas, kuris labai patinka. Žmonės, kuriems patinku. Treniruotės. Mokinukai. Kylantis atlyginimas. Naujos pažintys. Atsiveriančios galimybės. Lėtai, bet vis dėlto retkarčiais pasirodančios šviežios idėjos. O kaip man jų reikia daugiau daugiau daugiau...

O kažkodėl visdėlto svarstau apie galimybę, užsibūti ilgiau Londone. Gerokai ilgiau. Ta nežinomybė, ir pradėti viską iš naujo - studijas, darbą, pakeisti aplinką - kažkaip keistai traukia. Jaučiuosi plėšomas savo minčių, kas akimirką išduodantis savo įsitikinimas, ir vėl prie jų grįžtantis. Esu truputį pasimetęs. Tikriausiai dėl to ir paprašiau atostogų. Tikriausiai dėl to ir keliauju ten, kur mano akimis turėtų būti viskas geriau. Visur gerai kur mūsų nėra? Aš tuom ir noriu įsitikinti...

today after work i want to judo. and for the one more time resumed my training. i guess, i am not doing it just for training. i am going to meet my friends, to relax while fighting with them. but what can you do, when you spend 10 hours in the office working with notebook and drinking coffee, and after the job you spend some more hours surfing internet, reading blogs, drinking tea. all you can do, is lose. you can fall down for hundred times, and once again to stand up. after a fight you can have a glass of cold water, to regain part of your power (to be able to stand) and fight again. i love this feeling. there thoughts form anime come in - you cannot give, stand up and fight. yeah... that's why i love to watch anime once a week. it gives me enough motivation to stand up and take a walk in my life.

sometimes, usually after judo competition, i have a little side work - to create a little movie (well, can you call a movie that continues less than two minutes? duh.. pravda does it, so will i. anyway, every time i realize, i know too little. and every time i read a chapter of adobe premiere pro manual (bible or something like that). so, can you really improve step by step? i don't think so... you need something more than just doing mechanically some stuff every few weeks. desire to learn?

i have too many options what to chose to learn. i want too much, and that stops me from learning anything more than just step by step.

this morning i got up early. it wasn't even six o'clock. so, after cold wash and mini breakfast i left. last week i decided that i would go to job by foot. to think of it, the distance from home to office is only ~3 km. when i was younger, i've been going to school all that way every day. so.. i am still young and i could do the same again.

so... first fifteen minutes were great. the sky is blue, the grass is green, there are a lot of crows flying and crying around. i wanted to close my eyes and to fly with them. all the other way was easy too. yes, i had to slow my speed a bit, however, i enjoyed every step.

later, after the first job was over, my colleague dropped me halfway to another job. and again i was going by foot to my kids. they were already waiting for me. it's hard to notice how times fly by, when you are walking yourself. after lessons i went back home, again on my own.

to sum up, i've managed to walk more than 10 km today. i guess, tomorrow i will not be able to move my legs. however, tomorrow i'll have to go by foot, because i made a promise to myself. i refuse to drive my car this week (well, until weekend at least).

i hate meetings. when you have two or more job meetings, you have no time to work. and i doubt, that there are more productive ways to hold meetings in our company. well.. there is always a possibility to improve, but firstly you should ask whether someone wants to improve. i hate my english. so gotta go to study a bit. only my legs are tired, not me ;-)

last night i had an amazing dream. though i don't remember any parts of it, it sure was a long one. i woke up 5 minutes before 8 o'clock with a feeling that something must be done right away. and i was right, after five minutes i had to be at my managers office. i was late only for two minutes.

i had lots of stuff to do, so i've been busy all day. sometimes i feel that e-mails and phone calls take more time in my day, than actually doing something more real. i feel i am becoming more fluent with my phone skills. i guess, i can even tell the mood of a man i am talking to. that isn't something to be glad of, because more and more often the mood is really bad.

writing emails to too many recipients is nonsense. it gets really bad when people add more recipients on their reply. the growing list of "to" and "cc" makes you feel kind of a spammer. but what you can do, when you live in society of bureaucracy? just keep moving pretending it's supposed to be this way.

patting to colleague's shoulder with saying "i believe in you" can really boost his productivity. i know, because i've managed to complete lots of works. sometimes all you have to do, is notice a good job. sadly, most of the time all the "ooops, i did it again" stuff gets noticed.

in these days (actually, already for almost a half year) i am reading a lot of blogs, books related to several topics. you know the feeling, when you read and think "duh.. that's so simple. i should try it too". the problem is that you (usually me) cannot do anything about it. you come to same topics again and again and leave just thinking.

today was a bit different day, or at least i felt different. so without further thinking, that everything is easy, i've started actually doing something. and from now on, i'll try to increase my skills in theses areas which i was interested long ago, but hadn't will power to do something. all you need is action, right? once, my credo was all you need is dreams. bad one, definitely.

i've spent three hours applying stuff i've read in the last half-year and i've felt really good. when you read a lot of on same topics you develop keen interest and speed in applying all that stuff. strangely, i feel i could end up exhausted, because lately i am thinking too much. taking action should diminish my thoughts, and i love that.

quite an awkward feeling, when almost all mine sentences start with "I". reading doesn't help here... same situation as with thinking. instead of reading more, i should write more.

on my way home from school job, i've noticed police car on my left mirror. while driving i was looking at it as if they were following me. quite an obsessive feeling was bugging me. well, it should be expected - i don't have my valid driving license, and my car is almost totaled (i don't even understand how it manages to get me to work. i am already planning on going to work by foot). then near railway i saw a car accident. it became clear that police car was not following me, but going to them. i slowed my speed a bit, and noticed two cars crashed face-to-face. damage wasn't huge, however there will be some fixing in garage; audi TT car was driven by young woman, and audi 100 was driven by older woman. obviously, you should beware of driving woman (especially younger ones);

damn... it's hard to find words for writing in English. any ideas, how could i make any progress?

everything from the morning feels so different. rain in the morning made miracles with nature. everything seems so green and fresh. it seems, yesterday we still had undecided weather - even nature couldn't decide whether it's spring, or it's still end of the winter. and now it feels like real spring. i love this feeling. i should go to job by foot... however, tomorrow i'll have to go to second job, so my dreams to leave car in the yard will be unfulfilled.

everything feels so different - i am not talking only about weather. today i've had a meeting in the job. as all meetings it prolonged too much. you really should keep meetings short and useful. this could be done by opening windows and taking out all chairs. it's so simple...

i've even managed to finish reading a book written by Goldratt (Critical chain) which i've started reading in the morning. yeah, to get up a bit earlier is a good way to start your long day. in order to finish the book i've stayed in the office until 20:00 o'clock. after work hours the place becomes so peaceful and calm. i should stay here more often. at home, there are too many distractions, and here you can read all you want. there is no one, who could distract your focus.

in previous post i've written about how i am still not ready to pay for books. today i am thinking already a bit different. i would like to have all of Goldratts "goals" on my work desk or in my future own office. there are too many things to learn... but i have all the time i need.

what's next? heroes! ;-) and then again something to improve my skills. this day is most productive in learning for all the months. unless, tomorrow i'll put even more efforts in learning something new.

there is a problem with going too often to bookstore (lately, there were quite a lot of chances). you can always find something you would like to read. usually, you see more books under "must read" category, than you can allow yourself to buy in a year. then problem arises... to choose one book, two books, even more? or just leave without any books.

in this way, i am always fighting with myself. i see some books, i want to read. i look at the cost of it. there starts a war in my head calculating all possibilities. and usually, i end up not buying the book i wanted. i am not ready to pay for a book i like. maybe i am too much obsessive with saving money?

in any case, after going to bookstore i feel bad (it doesn't matter already, whether i bought a book, or not). i should use library more often, i guess. however, these books won't be in our local library any time soon. and that makes me sad.

so... i go online. and download the book i wanted to buy. i put it in to the folder "must read" and leave it be. until the next time i'll go to bookstore.

Action cures regrets. Action prevents future regrets. Take action!